Hey dude. You're Short.

I know I know... Short girl's shouldn't make fun of short guys. But here is the thing. I am not making fun of short guys. It's the guys who say they are 5'6" on their online dating profile, but when you meet up with them they are 5'2"... if that.

Here is the fact in the online dating world. PEOPLE LIE. Guys do it. Girls do it. It definitely isn't limited to one gender. They lie about anything from height/age/career...etc. They take pictures from snazzy angles to disguise the truth. Not everyone lies...but it's more common than not.

In my experience, I have been lied to on numerous occasions. It doesn't make me any less hopeful that one day I'll end up with an amazing guy... but it definitely gives me some perspective and a bit of a reality check that not everything is as it seems.

Meet match.com dude #1. He wasn't the first person I met from my online dating experience, but he was the first I went on more than one date with. 3 months into dating him, when we are out for drinks, he informs me that he has something to tell me.

"What is it?" I immediately start thinking of all the ugly possibilities here... he is married, or he has 15 children by 10 different ladies or both...Granted the influence of alcohol at the moment assisted in my imagination running wild.

He places his ID in front of me on the table. Then he places another one in front of me.

Really?? I've had at least 2 drinks...my limit on a date typically...and reading tiny numbers and letters on two near identical ID's to comprehend the differences is not something I was able to do.

"Just tell me what it is you need to tell me." My brain hurts just thinking of differentiating these two ID's.

"Well... I wanted to tell you that I am not 28." his facial expression read "please take pity on me."

"I never thought you were 28. Your online dating profile said you were 31." The fact that he didn't even remember how old he had originally SAID he was online didn't seem to resonate yet. "Ok, so how old are you?"

"I'm 43."

Wow. So, it's not that you subtracted 12 years of your existence on your profile, or that you couldn't remember whether you had said 28 or 31....but you made an ID? Interesting.

I won't bore you with the rest of the story...point is: he lied. In the moment, I was relieved that the other crazy stories I had come up with were not in fact the case. But this guy had completely justified his lie to himself and made it seem like it was completely OK.

Match dude #1 is not the only guy who I experienced lying about his age...There have been more...his story just happens to be the most extreme.

Now back to the guy who earned his way to the subject of my blog post. Hey dude. You're short. Nothing wrong with it. I don't hate short guys, but lying about it?? Like I am not going to find out? It's kind of like lying about having or not having eyes, or a head, or all limbs...cause I am sure enough going to find out the first time we meet. Do you think if you get your foot in the door, I'll excuse the lie about the height? Is that the thought process here? There is a huge difference in 5'6" vs 5'2". My favorite pair of heals adds at least 4 inches to my height, so I know what it feels like to see the world at 5'6", and it is a huge difference from 5'2". Even with your thick soled tennis shoes or boots with a little bit of a "man heal" your little white lie about your height is going to be noticeable the first time we meet. The funniest thing about this is that I have met at least 2 guys who have lied about their height online. Both said they were 5'6" and showed up being at least 5'2".

POINT #1 IS (for guys and gals): If you are genuinely trying to meet someone that you would like to possibly begin a friendship/relationship with, don't lie. Don't say you are slender if you aren't. Don't say you are athletic if you aren't. Don't say you are 31 if you aren't. Don't say you are 5'6" if you aren't.

POINT #2 IS: I recommend whenever you feel comfortable, to meet in person in a public place sooner rather than later. Who knows how much time you might be wasting on someone who may or may not be who they represent online. I always recommend daytime meetings too... and tell a couple friends where you are going and what you know about them. SAFETY FIRST!!

That's all folks... for now I pulled my online dating profile. Not because of short dude, but I am certain I will share more about my experiences soon in another post.

Rye Bread

This week I was determined to get to my favorite karaoke bar during the week... the crowd is completely different during the week than it is during the weekend. So a girlfriend of mine agreed to come up and meet me as well as some of my other karaoke friends.

The night is pretty chill, we were all able to sing a few times. By about 12 o'clock my girlfriend and I notice that there is this guy hanging around our little group... almost hovering. He isn't bad looking, but I wouldn't go so far as to say he is HOT. He didn't say anything at first, he just sipped his drink. A few minutes later he goes up to sing, and shocked all of us with his song choice. It was some Frankie Valli-ish song from the 60's. Now don't get me wrong, this guy was by no means thugish or anything, that wasn't why he shocked us. What shocked us was that at first he seemed really shy, but then when he got up on the stage and started singing his best falsetto that sounded as if he sings this song in the shower every day... we all did a double take and giggled. It just didn't seem like a song he would sing. WAY TO THROW US ALL OFF!! :-)

When he finished my girlfriend and I both told him he did well and surprised us with his song choice. He laughed and said he was happy about that.

We didn't pay this guy much attention after this, but he floated from group to group hoping to get in where he fit in. After his second song (Green Day this time) he mozied back up to the bar. This time he was a little bit more anxious to talk to us.... after all it was nearing closing time.

The first thing out of his mouth when he was trying to talk to me?

"I'm a baller."

Does that normally do it for you? Do you say this to girls and they are like swooning and drooling from their woman parts? Because for me that is just a HUGE turn off.

"That's too bad." I respond. Then he proceeds to tell me why he is a baller and tries to tell me what teams he has played on. I told him that didn't matter to me, and he was probably one of the shortest point guards I had ever met. (He had to be like 5'8".)

"My name is Ryan, but you can call me Ry."

HUH?? Cause Ryan is sooooo long that you feel the need to abreviate?

"Ok, so I will call you Rye...BREAD yes, your new name is Rye Bread." He didn't like this that much, but I didn't really care.

His conversation got a little less weird when he stopped trying too hard to impress me, and he said his hope was that he could convince all his friends to come to this little karaoke spot sometime. I told him that would be cool and it is definitely the best around and gave him my number for the off chance that he came down to Hula's again.

So the night ended, and my girlfriend drove me to my car. On the way home I got a call from an unknown local number. I answered, thinking maybe it was one of my friends stranded at Hula's. It wasn't. It was Rye Bread. Wow. I guess he couldn't wait to get his sleeze on...Some how, some way he started talking about sausage and tried to invite himself over to my house, at which point I hung up on him. He officially earned himself not one but two Datecon statuses in my book Stage 4 Clinger Status and Stage 5 Creeper Status. (I will have to break down these Datecon Statuses in another blog.)

So what does Rye Bread do? He called my girlfriend (or maybe he called her first...who knows.) In any case, he called me 4 times after that, all of which I ignored and he managed to text me a few more times. Wow... this guy is a real winner. Add him to the list of knuckledragger's who need extensive training.

It's Been a while...

Wow, it's been a while. I know some people who write through sadness and heartache and all that other stuff, but for me, I just need to feel it, get through it...and move on to whatever amazing adventure is next.

So what does that mean? Well...I am single, first of all. I am also 30, and amazingly enough feel younger then I did at 20-29. I feel better... and am more confident than ever before and have a really great feeling about the future, whatever it may hold.

One of the funniest events of recent occurred on the eve of my best friend Yael's 30th Birthday party at Munchbar in Bellevue. Dude (Anthony) a pretty juiced up Jersey boy, (go figure) whirls me around on the dance floor. We have a great time, we talk about what we do, and where we like to normally hang out. He asks if he can take me out sometime. Now considering this guy was incredibly attractive (even for a juiced up Jersey boy) and seemed somewhat normal (for a Jersey boy), I accepted and gave him my phone number. Almost 30 minutes after leaving Munchbar I start getting texts from him asking if I will come meet him for a drink...I say I will not...He kept asking and asking... and then followed with drunken propositions for the next day. I said I would have to see what my schedule looked like.

The next day was filled with "getting to know you texts..." it was fun, and interesting. He seemed to finally be sober and not just wanting to "hook up." Then later, he says "I don't want to come off as a player but.... I would really like to see you and just cuddle." REALLY??!! Did you just basically tell me that you are a player??? Mark that down as a YES test proctor! By telling me you are not a player, it is my perception and my experience that you are in fact trying to bag every girl you come into close contact with and therefore a PLAYER! Good luck with that buddy. End text.

That was the end of Jersey Boy Anthony.

This summer (if it ever arrives) will be a total blow out of blogging... this summer is going to be fun, and packed with laugh out loud moments that will entertain all of us... so stay tuned. It's about to get bumpy! I will be out and about in Seattle/Bellevue or wherever, with my list of approved crappy pick up lines. Let's see what kind of gloriousness ensues.

Looking around the corner at 30

A week away. I don't think I have been this excited for a birthday. It's not like I win a big prize or anything, but this birthday really feels exciting. If we were in Denmark there would likely be a huge party, tons of family, drinking & eating and songs that poke fun at all the silly things I did growing up. Since I am not in Denmark and since it is such a big year, I decided I want a party. A real party...the kind where you get dressed up and dance your butt off so much that you can't think of wearing those 5 inch heals for another year or so. I also wanted to have a night with the family, so mom is planning a party that will feature my favorite meal from Denmark, and the small family in the area + boyfriend will be there. Every year I wish for breakfast in bed on my birthday...probably going to stop requesting this since it never really happens and for the next 5 years or so my birthday will be on a weekday. By the time my birthday is on a weekend again, Isaiah should be old enough to prepare a morning meal, and make me a mimosa...lol or just fresh orange juice.

This morning I made Isaiah's peanut butter and honey sandwich just the way he likes it, with the peanut butter and honey sort-of blended. I remember also liking it best this way when I was a kid. It was early this morning, 7 am and Teen Titans were on, and Isaiah was munching away at his breakfast. This is life. My life more specifically.

A year ago, for whatever reason this routine would have seemed strange. But now I wake up. I wake Isaiah up. I shower. I make his breakfast. I make my breakfast. we eat...he laughs at the TV. I make his lunch. I finish getting ready while he dresses. we brush teeth. I do his hair and we go. Last year though, I remember needing to wake up at 8, going to bed around 12-1230 sometimes. There were many occasions where were some crazy karaoke nights where I stayed up until 2 or 3!!! Thinking about that now makes me tired.

Even the evenings seem to have the same sort of rhythm. We get home, Isaiah plays with his friends while I make dinner, we eat, he plays some more with his friends while I do the dishes. We get ready for bed, and then maybe I watch a show or two, and then I am in bed by 10:30. Even when my guy comes over, this routine doesn't change so much...we are both HAPPY to be in bed by 1030. This DID NOT happen before. If I did go to bed that early a year ago, I would just lay there...awake and comfy in my amazing bed. At midnight, my inner voice would dull to a hum and I would go off to dreamland.

This routine while it could seem dull to some, is amazing. There is something so comfortable in it. Is it just me getting older? Don't get me wrong, I still yearn for nights out, and nights with the girls, and when they come I appreciate them fully. Another thought I had, is that the "chaos" that I used to allow to run my life has disappeared for the most part. For a year I was worried that I was doing the right thing, in so many areas of my life that it took over my ability to just be present. I am present now, and it is SOOO good to be here.

Big milestone birthday...right around the corner. I am not scared, not nervous, not depressed about this birthday as some people get or assume I should be. I am excited. 3 decades of living a life that has made me the person I am right now, and while the lessons I have learned will help me in the future, I packed no baggage to take with me into the next decade+ of living. Just a few carry on's...my guys and a computer full of access to happy memories, my family and friends. The rest of the empty space in front of me is ready for new memories, love, joy and life as it comes.

That's all for now.

Stepping Stone - Duffy - Sung by Lina at Hula Hula Karaoke

Thought Processing...

There's been a lot of THAT going on lately. Over the past month or so I've been wondering "what am I doing? and who am I doing it for?" I sent a letter to my friend Stacey today...realizing if I posted it, it explains clearly the processing that is going on right now. Maybe you have some advice? Maybe you can give some insight...I am open. Mostly I am open to my heart right now. I finally fell back in love with myself and realized I want to make sure I am doing what I love. Don't get me wrong...I love changing lives one bed sale at a time. I wonder though if I don't like the relationship that is established between the customer and myself more....hrm.... *hamster wheel turns with squeaky sounds.*

Here is the email I sent Stacey. I hope you don't mind Stacey...

What's your dream? What do you want to do? I'm asking myself the same things.... OMG. Everything is leading me to want to go back to school. How does one survive going back to school though? How do I live if mom won't let me go back to school and work for her? I really liked listening to Steve Jobs speech at Stanford, "How to live before you die." ( http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html ) I can definitely look back into my past and see some dots connecting. I wish you lived up here....Seriously. I wish that so bad that I might one day cause an earthquake in the Oregon/NorCal region that would swallow that area up whole so that The Bay would be just south of the Puget Sound. We would be neighbors. We could have our own little village, and raise our beautiful boys together. I'm a dreamer says Adrian, which is totally true. I feel like "possibility" was smashed out of me in my teen years, and everyone assumed I wanted to take over the family business. The part of me that is comfortable doing what I am doing and earning an income says "keep doing it!" The part of me that now sees possibility (thanks in part to Landmark) says "FUCKIN FLY!! Do what you want to do because there is no one like you!" This voice is getting louder by the day...

Sent from my iPhone

Heart of Glass - Blondie - Sung by Lina at Hula Hula Karaoke