Looking around the corner at 30

A week away. I don't think I have been this excited for a birthday. It's not like I win a big prize or anything, but this birthday really feels exciting. If we were in Denmark there would likely be a huge party, tons of family, drinking & eating and songs that poke fun at all the silly things I did growing up. Since I am not in Denmark and since it is such a big year, I decided I want a party. A real party...the kind where you get dressed up and dance your butt off so much that you can't think of wearing those 5 inch heals for another year or so. I also wanted to have a night with the family, so mom is planning a party that will feature my favorite meal from Denmark, and the small family in the area + boyfriend will be there. Every year I wish for breakfast in bed on my birthday...probably going to stop requesting this since it never really happens and for the next 5 years or so my birthday will be on a weekday. By the time my birthday is on a weekend again, Isaiah should be old enough to prepare a morning meal, and make me a mimosa...lol or just fresh orange juice.

This morning I made Isaiah's peanut butter and honey sandwich just the way he likes it, with the peanut butter and honey sort-of blended. I remember also liking it best this way when I was a kid. It was early this morning, 7 am and Teen Titans were on, and Isaiah was munching away at his breakfast. This is life. My life more specifically.

A year ago, for whatever reason this routine would have seemed strange. But now I wake up. I wake Isaiah up. I shower. I make his breakfast. I make my breakfast. we eat...he laughs at the TV. I make his lunch. I finish getting ready while he dresses. we brush teeth. I do his hair and we go. Last year though, I remember needing to wake up at 8, going to bed around 12-1230 sometimes. There were many occasions where were some crazy karaoke nights where I stayed up until 2 or 3!!! Thinking about that now makes me tired.

Even the evenings seem to have the same sort of rhythm. We get home, Isaiah plays with his friends while I make dinner, we eat, he plays some more with his friends while I do the dishes. We get ready for bed, and then maybe I watch a show or two, and then I am in bed by 10:30. Even when my guy comes over, this routine doesn't change so much...we are both HAPPY to be in bed by 1030. This DID NOT happen before. If I did go to bed that early a year ago, I would just lay there...awake and comfy in my amazing bed. At midnight, my inner voice would dull to a hum and I would go off to dreamland.

This routine while it could seem dull to some, is amazing. There is something so comfortable in it. Is it just me getting older? Don't get me wrong, I still yearn for nights out, and nights with the girls, and when they come I appreciate them fully. Another thought I had, is that the "chaos" that I used to allow to run my life has disappeared for the most part. For a year I was worried that I was doing the right thing, in so many areas of my life that it took over my ability to just be present. I am present now, and it is SOOO good to be here.

Big milestone birthday...right around the corner. I am not scared, not nervous, not depressed about this birthday as some people get or assume I should be. I am excited. 3 decades of living a life that has made me the person I am right now, and while the lessons I have learned will help me in the future, I packed no baggage to take with me into the next decade+ of living. Just a few carry on's...my guys and a computer full of access to happy memories, my family and friends. The rest of the empty space in front of me is ready for new memories, love, joy and life as it comes.

That's all for now.

Stepping Stone - Duffy - Sung by Lina at Hula Hula Karaoke

Thought Processing...

There's been a lot of THAT going on lately. Over the past month or so I've been wondering "what am I doing? and who am I doing it for?" I sent a letter to my friend Stacey today...realizing if I posted it, it explains clearly the processing that is going on right now. Maybe you have some advice? Maybe you can give some insight...I am open. Mostly I am open to my heart right now. I finally fell back in love with myself and realized I want to make sure I am doing what I love. Don't get me wrong...I love changing lives one bed sale at a time. I wonder though if I don't like the relationship that is established between the customer and myself more....hrm.... *hamster wheel turns with squeaky sounds.*

Here is the email I sent Stacey. I hope you don't mind Stacey...

What's your dream? What do you want to do? I'm asking myself the same things.... OMG. Everything is leading me to want to go back to school. How does one survive going back to school though? How do I live if mom won't let me go back to school and work for her? I really liked listening to Steve Jobs speech at Stanford, "How to live before you die." ( http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html ) I can definitely look back into my past and see some dots connecting. I wish you lived up here....Seriously. I wish that so bad that I might one day cause an earthquake in the Oregon/NorCal region that would swallow that area up whole so that The Bay would be just south of the Puget Sound. We would be neighbors. We could have our own little village, and raise our beautiful boys together. I'm a dreamer says Adrian, which is totally true. I feel like "possibility" was smashed out of me in my teen years, and everyone assumed I wanted to take over the family business. The part of me that is comfortable doing what I am doing and earning an income says "keep doing it!" The part of me that now sees possibility (thanks in part to Landmark) says "FUCKIN FLY!! Do what you want to do because there is no one like you!" This voice is getting louder by the day...

Sent from my iPhone

Heart of Glass - Blondie - Sung by Lina at Hula Hula Karaoke

Review of Events and Adventures - DON'T DO IT!!!

Please note: I joined this group back in August of 2008, and reviewed this on yelp in December 0f 2008. I have since requested cancelling my membership due to the fact that my financial status has significantly changed over the last 2 years. My request was denied. I guess it doesn't matter to them that I am making about 30% less money then I was when I joined. It also doesn't seem to matter to them that I am actually working on repairing the damage that my reckless spending has caused. I will be filing a complaint with the BBB. Here is my review:

YELP REVIEW OF EVENTS AND ADVENTURES: DATED 11 DECEMBER 2008


Events and Adventures is a total rip off. If you are considering Events and Adventures, just go ahead and try a great alternative that is free...YELP!!

Ok, so here is my sorry saga with Events and Adventures:

August 08: Broke up with ex of 10 months and decided since I hadn't really met anyone in the year of being here in Seattle, that I needed to look for an alternative way to meet people. (Notice I used the word people vs. guys.) My goal was to make some new friends, and get out and see parts of Seattle that I had not given myself the opportunity to see. An ad for E & A came on the radio, and I decided it was worth a shot. I called in, and they told me I would have to come in for an interview. This actually impressed me at first...they don't take felons (YEAH!!) and they make you show you are a real person....that is definitely a plus. HOWEVER......



During my interview, the sales guy gave me a quiz to determine how I meet people. Turns out I am an extrovert (go figure!!) I can go anywhere and meet anyone...this is true. What should have manifested in my brain was "EXACTLY WHY YOU DON'T NEED E&A!!!" This voice had apparently put itself on mute. I decided to give it a shot...can't be too bad, and some of the events looked cool. They were events I would actually consider going to on my own. My sales person told me I would have no problem meeting people (as if I was worried about THAT!) and that the guys would be flocking....this was of course not my concern, but if it happened...so be it. My sales person starts my contract and before I know it, he has me signed up for 3 years of paying 100 bucks a month.... for the WHOLE 3 YEARS!!!! Holy crap. PLUS you pay for all the events....and Membership dues...OMG, talk about going into debt. I was really optimistic about it at the time though. I had done the best I could to put myself into a positive state of mind after the break up, and saw this as an opportunity to meet some people who were interested in actually MEETING people.

My first event: Karaoke at Jazzbones in Tacoma. So glad I went to this...the venue is great (that will be on a separate review.) The majority of the people who showed up at the event were older guys...there were a few ladies who seemed really cool, one of them I even exchanged numbers with. I thought maybe I should try a few events before I totally bash this group.

Event number 2: Lake cruise on an old boat...there were about 30 people or so, and once again I met a really cool chick, we also exchanged numbers. It was at this event, that I began to see a serious trend in the majority of the men that were attending these events. (Please note: this is not to say all the men in this group are bad...just my personal observations from the folks that attended the events I attended.) There were a few guys who ended up acting very "stalkerish" asking for my number. I told one guy that I don't give my number to guys...(I was joking but at the same time didn't want to be mean and finish the statement which would have sounded something like "guys like you that is.")

I attended one more event, as a desperate attempt to feel like this was worth it....it isn't. Worst part is, I can't get out of it. At least that is what they said. The only way I can get out of it is if I get married. (sham wedding anyone? Just kidding!) My next attempt to get out will be through the Better Business Bureau.

Needless to say, if you consider yourself and extrovert, consider yourself warned. Do not, I repeat do not join Events and Adventures. Find some activities going on in your area (Yelp or http://Meetup.com or somewhere else) and go...meet people, have fun, and enjoy life!!! If you are less of an extrovert, you might need E&A to get out there...who knows.

Our First Trip

So I was planning my drop off trip for my son. Every summer he goes to Texas to spend a couple months with his dad, and this year I am doing the drop off. I asked my guy, who just a few weekends ago called himself my boyfriend the first time, if he wanted to go with...We had talked about it before, and making a trip down to Austin together, however all of the other times I have asked him to come somewhere awesome with me he has said no... This time however....

HE SAID YES!! YAY!!!

So, I booked plane tickets and now we are just trying to arrange rental car stuff. My son is very excited that my guy is coming with us. Isaiah really likes my guy, which is awesome. He has a very good way with Isaiah that is not "I'm here to be your next dad" (which I would absolutely dissapprove of) and more "Hey buddy," and as a bonus he loves to be silly with Isaiah. This is a characteristic that Isaiah believes is required. He says, and I quote "People who aren't silly are boring. It makes you not want to be around them." hahaha! Right on Isaiah...you have no idea how correct you are.

Just a couple more days and a little bit more packing and we will be off to the longest amount of time spent together during our almost 6 month courtship...a good 84 hours at least. Am I nervous? Yeah, sure a little...but I am more excited than anything. Here is a guy who probably knows me better than some of my besties...someone I can really be myself around, and who has never laid judgement on me. Here is a guy I really admire and like and look forward to more days and months+ together. :-)

Butterflies...

I totally forgot what they felt like. I can't tell you the last time I felt them...

I was fiddle-faddling on Facebook when I noticed in my feed that there were some new pictures that "He" was tagged in. It was from a wedding he was in back in January...I looked through the pictures, and somewhere in between the 5th and 6th picture I felt that tickly feeling in my stomach...(and no it wasn't gas!) I smiled, and looked at the picture closer.

Here is a man that I have come to really truly admire for so many reasons. His honestly is one of the reasons, along with his awareness of himself. His smile in real life and in pictures is so genuine, there is nothing like it. When he smiles at me, I know its real...

Here I am, really happy. I want to get to know him even better because every conversation we have is sooooo good. Sometimes, as tired as I am I want to stay up all night talking to him. I feel really lucky to have him in my life...he makes me feel good from my head to my toes in so many ways.

Here's to future adventures with my guy.

Lina - Still Naked and Sitting on her Towel