Life of Lina - Still Naked and Sitting on her Towel

Best Online Dating Profile. Ever. Debatably.

2012-01-18T01:09:00.000-08:00

I like to be slapped around, yelled at, controlled and appreciate the jealous boyfriend who doesn't let me have any friends and who has 37+ "girlfriends" himself. I would love it if you don't have a job, a car, 10th grade or lower education, hate dogs and kids and never work out. Gym membership?? no thanks. Do you eat pizza every day? Perfect as long as it's Digiorno . Do you ever find yourself accidentally watching "Portlandia" and feel like it is completely over your head? That would be ideal. Do you like to take pictures of yourself in the mirror with your shirt off or your wife beater because you think I will be attracted to it? Please, tell me more about you...you are obviously one who is a deep thinker, passionate about life and all it has to offer and I would like to get to know more about you. Do you consider yourself a "laid back guy" who is "drama free?" Your unique qualities send me into a tail spin every time I read that. Will you promise to hang out outside my house and watch my every move? Will you please show up on date one clearly 2-4 inches shorter than your profile on here says you are? Will you actually be 43 even though your profile says 37 (or even younger) and make up a really great reason for how it happened? Will you blow me off after a first date by using your passive aggressive way of approaching life, never call and/or return text?Better yet, will you promise to break up with me by text message? OMG. You might be the guy for me.

PAUSE - If you have read thus far and find yourself identifying with one, some or all of the things listed above. Please stop reading. I am not for you.

If you are laughing... or smiling...or in some way get it, keep reading.

A little about me: So I am a single mom. It's the reason I am certain most guys that I have been on one or more dates with don't continue to date me, and honestly...if it's a problem for you, please stop reading now and don't message me. I prefer to weed out the jokers who already know they don't want that in their lives. If it is something you are open to, at one point down the road if things workout, when we are both ready you would be able to meet my son, who is 7 and the coolest kid on the planet. He was the one who actually told me I should give online dating a try, and says he is looking forward to me having a boyfriend at some point. As we speak he is making new Lego minifigures by painting over the old ones. He is one cool dude, and whoever is lucky enough to have us in their life has to be pretty awesome. My son has a dad, but he lives far away in the country they call Texas. He visits his dad a couple times a year. There. The elephant in the room has been addressed...now we can move on to other subjects.

FITNESS!!! This is a good one. So, last year I discovered and fell in love with the sport of Crossfit. It has been the most amazing journey, to see myself physically and emotionally get stronger. I love Oly lifts now, and am working on walking on my hands and conquering muscle ups this year. If you are into Crossfit, you get huge cool points, but that is not all I am looking for...but it would definitely be a bonus if the guy I was in a relationship was my WOD partner. Don't know what Crossfit is but love fitness?? Look it up... there are some pretty good videos out there that will show you what it is about. That being said, if you don't do Crossfit or never want to try it, I wouldn't hold it against you...it's just something that in an ideal world would be really nice. If you don't workout though... like NEVER, don't do ANY sort of sports, then this probably isn't going to work out, so we should just end it here. If you send me a message saying "I don't do crossfit but I have an LA Fitness membership," my response is going to be "good for you and good luck with that." I think I might have gotten 30+ messages like this in the past (is it the same guy?? Weird...) and all the pictures tell me that while the guy may have a membership, he never uses it. Also along the lines of fitness, I eat really healthy... Low carbs, and when I do have carbs they are low glycemic carbs, I eat lots of protein typically chicken/turkey/eggs/protein shakes and red meat on occasion. I eat lots of veggies, fruits and almonds and have a thing for Maranatha peanut butter. I love going out to eat as well, but I like to limit that.

Some other useful things you should know about me:

I have a dog, she is a lap dog and incredibly cuddly and a little bit of a slut. lol

I love karaoke.

I love to dance.

I like PDA but I think the whole sloppy making out thing in public is kinda gross.

My mom wanted to name me Helga, but my dad said no. Thank God.

I like paperclips.

I am a full time student studying Health Psychology

I don't do Yoga as much as I would like to.

I have an amazing and inspiring group of girlfriends.

I have watched the movie "Officespace" about 47 times give or take 13 or so.

Favorite radio stations: KUOW and 89.5 followed by KissFM

I love to read.

I sing really loud and dance in my car. Yep. I am THAT girl.

Traveling is something that I will never not do. I try to go somewhere new every year...

I am the humblest person I know. Seriously.

I believe in gratitude and living in the present.

I have a huge respect for integrity. That being said, please don't lie on here. It's dumb.

I do charitable work whenever possible. Currently the team captain for my team that will be doing the Big Climb.

Who I am looking for: It's difficult for me to describe the guy that I am looking for because it is more of a feeling I am looking for than anything else. Fitness is important to me and so is overall wellness. If these are priorities in your life that is a really good thing. My hope is to be with someone who isn't afraid of expressing his feelings, is organized, has his stuff together, is aware of himself on an emotional level and has an idea of where he wants to go with his life. He is kind, great with kids, and ready to take on the journey called life with someone else. We can stay up having late night conversations about politics, religion, education, and philosophy, and at the same time is light enough to have fun and laugh until we pee...a little.

This guy has no problem introducing me to his friends and family and does little things to show me he is thinking of me. He holds me in times of sadness and lets me cry (my mascara will smear all over your shirt, but don't worry, it will wash out.) He encourages me to keep going to meet my goals and gives thoughtful advice when I ask for it. He can put on the spare tire if needed, plan surprise trips for us, and probably most importantly, show my son how a man should treat his lady.

LET'S TALK ABOUT STYLE:

Do you where saggy pants? Do you think walking around in a wife beater is cool? Do you get your jeans at Old Navy or Target? Are your favorite pair of dress shoes "Sketchers?" Probably not for me. Without being judgey I really feel like I need to say this. While I am not what you would or could consider a "diva" as far as my wardrobe goes, I think how we present ourselves to the world reflects how we feel about ourselves and what we want others to think about us. That being said, the "slob" look doesn't appeal to me, nor does the "redneck" look. My hope is that you have your own sense of style, your clothes fit, and you have nice shoes. Guys are lucky in that they only really need a few basic pairs of shoes. 1 pair for casual, 1 pair for crossfit (hehehe), 1 black pair of dress shoes, and 1 random color dress shoe like a grey, taupe, camel, or something...and a pair of flip flops. See how easy that is for guys?? Now if you have more than that, cool. I am just saying... it matters how you take care of yourself. Hair: if you put a hand full of gel in your hair and or like to spike your hair you are living about a decade in the past. Just sayin.

About the Writing of The Best Online Dating Profile Ever.

2012-01-18T00:29:00.000-08:00

Debatably of course. Everything is, isn't it? I realize I am biased. It's my profile. I find myself to be hilarious at times...at other times I find myself to be so enthusiastically boring that my little toy poodle Chanel groans at me.

On Sunday, I chose to revamp my old online dating profile. The old one was so haggard... run down, boring, and run-of-the-mill. Who in reading that would give second notice to a profile so mundane. I did have some intriguing thought provoking questions like "Staples or paperclips...choose." *laugh laugh laugh.* As I found myself casually browsing an assortment of knuckledraggers, douchebags and a few decent chaps I laughed and wondered if what they were reading and what they had to choose from was the same sort of redundant bunch of cliches that are more often than not exaggerations of wishes. For example "I am 1oo% drama free zone!!" Really? But you HAVE to say that? If there was no drama, you wouldn't have to say it. You must have on more than one occasion attracted drama into your life if you feel the need to express the desire NOT to have it. There was an abundance of profiles that looked EXACTLY the same, and the same stupid (my opinion) pictures of the shirtless guy in front of the mirror with his shirt off. *Really dude... go find something else to entertain yourself with. There are plenty of activities where you might find yourself shirtless for good reason. Get a picture of THAT.* I wanted to rewrite my profile to be one that would at least cause someone to giggle, maybe pee a little, and possibly something they could show to their friends. The words flowed out of my brain, skipped my arms and jumped right onto the keys faster than I could type them. In about 10 minutes I was done. Possibly the most fun I have ever had writing.

The responses I have gotten are a little bit more varied than they were before with the old profile. I can definitely tell if someone has read my profile or not. And there has been at least one response from a gent who seems normal, has his stuff together, is funny and easy to talk to. Let's just see where that goes. Then we can say that "The Best Online Dating Profile Ever produced results, debatably."

So here it is... the unveiling for public viewing. My online dating profile. Hands Down The Best Online Dating Profile. Ever. Debatably.

Dear 2012

2011-12-31T12:10:00.000-08:00

I thought I was going to write a letter to 2011, however, I am taking advice from "E" from the Incredibles:

"Never look back darling, it distracts from the now." Edna "E" Mode.

2012 You are all about the NOW. I learned about the now, and the power of living in it in 2011. I learned what it meant to commit to myself, and to my health. I learned what it means to be determined and committed vs attached. In 2011 I fell in love with myself again, which I needed. Now, looking out at a completely open future, there is no telling how awesome the years to come will be.

Proudest accomplishments of 2011:

1. I became committed to health. I started up with Advocare, joined Crossfit, started running again.

2. After several months being single, I opened up to dating again. Managed to be single the entire year which is actually quite the accomplishment. My partner became myself. My friendships. My fun.

3. I survived. In January, mom and I started a business. In June we closed it and our other business. Walking away was a huge challenge but at the same time it ended up being an open ending...and a new beginning for both of us. Mom is moved to Denmark and I am back in school.

4. I went back to school. My degree program is for Health Psychology and my plan is to go to Bastyr in 2012.

5. I went to England/France. During a business trip I managed to combine the trip with a trip to visit longtime friends that I hadn't seen in a long time. It was amazing.

6. I completed the Curriculum for Living with Landmark Education.

7. Most of all I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. Inside and out. Everything that I have done this year has been for my health, emotionally, physically, nutritionally....everything.

2011 in short: I chose to feel good. I stopped trying to impress other people. I found and am working towards my true passions. I did it.

Sooooo... for 2012. What is in store? Who knows exactly. I am committed to living in the now. I am committed to earning money and helping people transform their health habits through Advocare. I am committed to making serious gains in Crossfit. I am coaching SELP at Landmark in January. I am committed to HAVING FUN!! I am committed to writing more. My hope is that I make it to a place I have never been (maybe New York? maybe somewhere tropical?) Maybe there is love in 2012?

In the area of love, I have good feelings. Who knows what is in store, but the biggest shift within me is "not needing." But I plan on taking some risks, allowing myself to be vulnerable, walk on the edge, play with abandon, choose with no regret, and live like this is all there is...

So 2012, I look forward to all you have for me, whatever it is. Happy New Year!

Love Lina

Lift Big Eat Big: 10 Excuses For Not Exercising & Why They Are Horse...

2011-12-19T12:33:00.000-08:00

Lift Big Eat Big: 10 Excuses For Not Exercising & Why They Are Horse...: Ahhh December. The month when everyone plans their New Year's resolutions that will last about 3 days. A lot of resolutions tend to focu...

Hey dude. You're Short.

2011-12-13T20:19:00.000-08:00

I know I know... Short girl's shouldn't make fun of short guys. But here is the thing. I am not making fun of short guys. It's the guys who say they are 5'6" on their online dating profile, but when you meet up with them they are 5'2"... if that.

Here is the fact in the online dating world. PEOPLE LIE. Guys do it. Girls do it. It definitely isn't limited to one gender. They lie about anything from height/age/career...etc. They take pictures from snazzy angles to disguise the truth. Not everyone lies...but it's more common than not.

In my experience, I have been lied to on numerous occasions. It doesn't make me any less hopeful that one day I'll end up with an amazing guy... but it definitely gives me some perspective and a bit of a reality check that not everything is as it seems.

Meet match.com dude #1. He wasn't the first person I met from my online dating experience, but he was the first I went on more than one date with. 3 months into dating him, when we are out for drinks, he informs me that he has something to tell me.

"What is it?" I immediately start thinking of all the ugly possibilities here... he is married, or he has 15 children by 10 different ladies or both...Granted the influence of alcohol at the moment assisted in my imagination running wild.

He places his ID in front of me on the table. Then he places another one in front of me.

Really?? I've had at least 2 drinks...my limit on a date typically...and reading tiny numbers and letters on two near identical ID's to comprehend the differences is not something I was able to do.

"Just tell me what it is you need to tell me." My brain hurts just thinking of differentiating these two ID's.

"Well... I wanted to tell you that I am not 28." his facial expression read "please take pity on me."

"I never thought you were 28. Your online dating profile said you were 31." The fact that he didn't even remember how old he had originally SAID he was online didn't seem to resonate yet. "Ok, so how old are you?"

"I'm 43."

Wow. So, it's not that you subtracted 12 years of your existence on your profile, or that you couldn't remember whether you had said 28 or 31....but you made an ID? Interesting.

I won't bore you with the rest of the story...point is: he lied. In the moment, I was relieved that the other crazy stories I had come up with were not in fact the case. But this guy had completely justified his lie to himself and made it seem like it was completely OK.

Match dude #1 is not the only guy who I experienced lying about his age...There have been more...his story just happens to be the most extreme.

Now back to the guy who earned his way to the subject of my blog post. Hey dude. You're short. Nothing wrong with it. I don't hate short guys, but lying about it?? Like I am not going to find out? It's kind of like lying about having or not having eyes, or a head, or all limbs...cause I am sure enough going to find out the first time we meet. Do you think if you get your foot in the door, I'll excuse the lie about the height? Is that the thought process here? There is a huge difference in 5'6" vs 5'2". My favorite pair of heals adds at least 4 inches to my height, so I know what it feels like to see the world at 5'6", and it is a huge difference from 5'2". Even with your thick soled tennis shoes or boots with a little bit of a "man heal" your little white lie about your height is going to be noticeable the first time we meet. The funniest thing about this is that I have met at least 2 guys who have lied about their height online. Both said they were 5'6" and showed up being at least 5'2".

POINT #1 IS (for guys and gals): If you are genuinely trying to meet someone that you would like to possibly begin a friendship/relationship with, don't lie. Don't say you are slender if you aren't. Don't say you are athletic if you aren't. Don't say you are 31 if you aren't. Don't say you are 5'6" if you aren't.

POINT #2 IS: I recommend whenever you feel comfortable, to meet in person in a public place sooner rather than later. Who knows how much time you might be wasting on someone who may or may not be who they represent online. I always recommend daytime meetings too... and tell a couple friends where you are going and what you know about them. SAFETY FIRST!!

That's all folks... for now I pulled my online dating profile. Not because of short dude, but I am certain I will share more about my experiences soon in another post.

Rye Bread

2011-06-11T10:39:00.000-07:00

This week I was determined to get to my favorite karaoke bar during the week... the crowd is completely different during the week than it is during the weekend. So a girlfriend of mine agreed to come up and meet me as well as some of my other karaoke friends.

The night is pretty chill, we were all able to sing a few times. By about 12 o'clock my girlfriend and I notice that there is this guy hanging around our little group... almost hovering. He isn't bad looking, but I wouldn't go so far as to say he is HOT. He didn't say anything at first, he just sipped his drink. A few minutes later he goes up to sing, and shocked all of us with his song choice. It was some Frankie Valli-ish song from the 60's. Now don't get me wrong, this guy was by no means thugish or anything, that wasn't why he shocked us. What shocked us was that at first he seemed really shy, but then when he got up on the stage and started singing his best falsetto that sounded as if he sings this song in the shower every day... we all did a double take and giggled. It just didn't seem like a song he would sing. WAY TO THROW US ALL OFF!! :-)

When he finished my girlfriend and I both told him he did well and surprised us with his song choice. He laughed and said he was happy about that.

We didn't pay this guy much attention after this, but he floated from group to group hoping to get in where he fit in. After his second song (Green Day this time) he mozied back up to the bar. This time he was a little bit more anxious to talk to us.... after all it was nearing closing time.

The first thing out of his mouth when he was trying to talk to me?

"I'm a baller."

Does that normally do it for you? Do you say this to girls and they are like swooning and drooling from their woman parts? Because for me that is just a HUGE turn off.

"That's too bad." I respond. Then he proceeds to tell me why he is a baller and tries to tell me what teams he has played on. I told him that didn't matter to me, and he was probably one of the shortest point guards I had ever met. (He had to be like 5'8".)

"My name is Ryan, but you can call me Ry."

HUH?? Cause Ryan is sooooo long that you feel the need to abreviate?

"Ok, so I will call you Rye...BREAD yes, your new name is Rye Bread." He didn't like this that much, but I didn't really care.

His conversation got a little less weird when he stopped trying too hard to impress me, and he said his hope was that he could convince all his friends to come to this little karaoke spot sometime. I told him that would be cool and it is definitely the best around and gave him my number for the off chance that he came down to Hula's again.

So the night ended, and my girlfriend drove me to my car. On the way home I got a call from an unknown local number. I answered, thinking maybe it was one of my friends stranded at Hula's. It wasn't. It was Rye Bread. Wow. I guess he couldn't wait to get his sleeze on...Some how, some way he started talking about sausage and tried to invite himself over to my house, at which point I hung up on him. He officially earned himself not one but two Datecon statuses in my book Stage 4 Clinger Status and Stage 5 Creeper Status. (I will have to break down these Datecon Statuses in another blog.)

So what does Rye Bread do? He called my girlfriend (or maybe he called her first...who knows.) In any case, he called me 4 times after that, all of which I ignored and he managed to text me a few more times. Wow... this guy is a real winner. Add him to the list of knuckledragger's who need extensive training.

It's Been a while...

2011-06-01T16:08:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been a while. I know some people who write through sadness and heartache and all that other stuff, but for me, I just need to feel it, get through it...and move on to whatever amazing adventure is next.

So what does that mean? Well...I am single, first of all. I am also 30, and amazingly enough feel younger then I did at 20-29. I feel better... and am more confident than ever before and have a really great feeling about the future, whatever it may hold.

One of the funniest events of recent occurred on the eve of my best friend Yael's 30th Birthday party at Munchbar in Bellevue. Dude (Anthony) a pretty juiced up Jersey boy, (go figure) whirls me around on the dance floor. We have a great time, we talk about what we do, and where we like to normally hang out. He asks if he can take me out sometime. Now considering this guy was incredibly attractive (even for a juiced up Jersey boy) and seemed somewhat normal (for a Jersey boy), I accepted and gave him my phone number. Almost 30 minutes after leaving Munchbar I start getting texts from him asking if I will come meet him for a drink...I say I will not...He kept asking and asking... and then followed with drunken propositions for the next day. I said I would have to see what my schedule looked like.

The next day was filled with "getting to know you texts..." it was fun, and interesting. He seemed to finally be sober and not just wanting to "hook up." Then later, he says "I don't want to come off as a player but.... I would really like to see you and just cuddle." REALLY??!! Did you just basically tell me that you are a player??? Mark that down as a YES test proctor! By telling me you are not a player, it is my perception and my experience that you are in fact trying to bag every girl you come into close contact with and therefore a PLAYER! Good luck with that buddy. End text.

That was the end of Jersey Boy Anthony.

This summer (if it ever arrives) will be a total blow out of blogging... this summer is going to be fun, and packed with laugh out loud moments that will entertain all of us... so stay tuned. It's about to get bumpy! I will be out and about in Seattle/Bellevue or wherever, with my list of approved crappy pick up lines. Let's see what kind of gloriousness ensues.

Looking around the corner at 30

2010-10-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

A week away. I don't think I have been this excited for a birthday. It's not like I win a big prize or anything, but this birthday really feels exciting. If we were in Denmark there would likely be a huge party, tons of family, drinking & eating and songs that poke fun at all the silly things I did growing up. Since I am not in Denmark and since it is such a big year, I decided I want a party. A real party...the kind where you get dressed up and dance your butt off so much that you can't think of wearing those 5 inch heals for another year or so. I also wanted to have a night with the family, so mom is planning a party that will feature my favorite meal from Denmark, and the small family in the area + boyfriend will be there. Every year I wish for breakfast in bed on my birthday...probably going to stop requesting this since it never really happens and for the next 5 years or so my birthday will be on a weekday. By the time my birthday is on a weekend again, Isaiah should be old enough to prepare a morning meal, and make me a mimosa...lol or just fresh orange juice.

This morning I made Isaiah's peanut butter and honey sandwich just the way he likes it, with the peanut butter and honey sort-of blended. I remember also liking it best this way when I was a kid. It was early this morning, 7 am and Teen Titans were on, and Isaiah was munching away at his breakfast. This is life. My life more specifically.

A year ago, for whatever reason this routine would have seemed strange. But now I wake up. I wake Isaiah up. I shower. I make his breakfast. I make my breakfast. we eat...he laughs at the TV. I make his lunch. I finish getting ready while he dresses. we brush teeth. I do his hair and we go. Last year though, I remember needing to wake up at 8, going to bed around 12-1230 sometimes. There were many occasions where were some crazy karaoke nights where I stayed up until 2 or 3!!! Thinking about that now makes me tired.

Even the evenings seem to have the same sort of rhythm. We get home, Isaiah plays with his friends while I make dinner, we eat, he plays some more with his friends while I do the dishes. We get ready for bed, and then maybe I watch a show or two, and then I am in bed by 10:30. Even when my guy comes over, this routine doesn't change so much...we are both HAPPY to be in bed by 1030. This DID NOT happen before. If I did go to bed that early a year ago, I would just lay there...awake and comfy in my amazing bed. At midnight, my inner voice would dull to a hum and I would go off to dreamland.

This routine while it could seem dull to some, is amazing. There is something so comfortable in it. Is it just me getting older? Don't get me wrong, I still yearn for nights out, and nights with the girls, and when they come I appreciate them fully. Another thought I had, is that the "chaos" that I used to allow to run my life has disappeared for the most part. For a year I was worried that I was doing the right thing, in so many areas of my life that it took over my ability to just be present. I am present now, and it is SOOO good to be here.

Big milestone birthday...right around the corner. I am not scared, not nervous, not depressed about this birthday as some people get or assume I should be. I am excited. 3 decades of living a life that has made me the person I am right now, and while the lessons I have learned will help me in the future, I packed no baggage to take with me into the next decade+ of living. Just a few carry on's...my guys and a computer full of access to happy memories, my family and friends. The rest of the empty space in front of me is ready for new memories, love, joy and life as it comes.

That's all for now.

Stepping Stone - Duffy - Sung by Lina at Hula Hula Karaoke

2010-08-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

Thought Processing...

2010-08-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

There's been a lot of THAT going on lately. Over the past month or so I've been wondering "what am I doing? and who am I doing it for?" I sent a letter to my friend Stacey today...realizing if I posted it, it explains clearly the processing that is going on right now. Maybe you have some advice? Maybe you can give some insight...I am open. Mostly I am open to my heart right now. I finally fell back in love with myself and realized I want to make sure I am doing what I love. Don't get me wrong...I love changing lives one bed sale at a time. I wonder though if I don't like the relationship that is established between the customer and myself more....hrm.... *hamster wheel turns with squeaky sounds.*

Here is the email I sent Stacey. I hope you don't mind Stacey...

What's your dream? What do you want to do? I'm asking myself the same things.... OMG. Everything is leading me to want to go back to school. How does one survive going back to school though? How do I live if mom won't let me go back to school and work for her? I really liked listening to Steve Jobs speech at Stanford, "How to live before you die." ( http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html ) I can definitely look back into my past and see some dots connecting. I wish you lived up here....Seriously. I wish that so bad that I might one day cause an earthquake in the Oregon/NorCal region that would swallow that area up whole so that The Bay would be just south of the Puget Sound. We would be neighbors. We could have our own little village, and raise our beautiful boys together. I'm a dreamer says Adrian, which is totally true. I feel like "possibility" was smashed out of me in my teen years, and everyone assumed I wanted to take over the family business. The part of me that is comfortable doing what I am doing and earning an income says "keep doing it!" The part of me that now sees possibility (thanks in part to Landmark) says "FUCKIN FLY!! Do what you want to do because there is no one like you!" This voice is getting louder by the day...

Sent from my iPhone

Heart of Glass - Blondie - Sung by Lina at Hula Hula Karaoke

2010-08-20T14:06:00.000-07:00

Review of Events and Adventures - DON'T DO IT!!!

2010-07-31T15:33:00.001-07:00

Please note: I joined this group back in August of 2008, and reviewed this on yelp in December 0f 2008. I have since requested cancelling my membership due to the fact that my financial status has significantly changed over the last 2 years. My request was denied. I guess it doesn't matter to them that I am making about 30% less money then I was when I joined. It also doesn't seem to matter to them that I am actually working on repairing the damage that my reckless spending has caused. I will be filing a complaint with the BBB. Here is my review:

YELP REVIEW OF EVENTS AND ADVENTURES: DATED 11 DECEMBER 2008

Events and Adventures is a total rip off. If you are considering Events and Adventures, just go ahead and try a great alternative that is free...YELP!!

Ok, so here is my sorry saga with Events and Adventures:

August 08: Broke up with ex of 10 months and decided since I hadn't really met anyone in the year of being here in Seattle, that I needed to look for an alternative way to meet people. (Notice I used the word people vs. guys.) My goal was to make some new friends, and get out and see parts of Seattle that I had not given myself the opportunity to see. An ad for E & A came on the radio, and I decided it was worth a shot. I called in, and they told me I would have to come in for an interview. This actually impressed me at first...they don't take felons (YEAH!!) and they make you show you are a real person....that is definitely a plus. HOWEVER......

During my interview, the sales guy gave me a quiz to determine how I meet people. Turns out I am an extrovert (go figure!!) I can go anywhere and meet anyone...this is true. What should have manifested in my brain was "EXACTLY WHY YOU DON'T NEED E&A!!!" This voice had apparently put itself on mute. I decided to give it a shot...can't be too bad, and some of the events looked cool. They were events I would actually consider going to on my own. My sales person told me I would have no problem meeting people (as if I was worried about THAT!) and that the guys would be flocking....this was of course not my concern, but if it happened...so be it. My sales person starts my contract and before I know it, he has me signed up for 3 years of paying 100 bucks a month.... for the WHOLE 3 YEARS!!!! Holy crap. PLUS you pay for all the events....and Membership dues...OMG, talk about going into debt. I was really optimistic about it at the time though. I had done the best I could to put myself into a positive state of mind after the break up, and saw this as an opportunity to meet some people who were interested in actually MEETING people.

My first event: Karaoke at Jazzbones in Tacoma. So glad I went to this...the venue is great (that will be on a separate review.) The majority of the people who showed up at the event were older guys...there were a few ladies who seemed really cool, one of them I even exchanged numbers with. I thought maybe I should try a few events before I totally bash this group.

Event number 2: Lake cruise on an old boat...there were about 30 people or so, and once again I met a really cool chick, we also exchanged numbers. It was at this event, that I began to see a serious trend in the majority of the men that were attending these events. (Please note: this is not to say all the men in this group are bad...just my personal observations from the folks that attended the events I attended.) There were a few guys who ended up acting very "stalkerish" asking for my number. I told one guy that I don't give my number to guys...(I was joking but at the same time didn't want to be mean and finish the statement which would have sounded something like "guys like you that is.")

I attended one more event, as a desperate attempt to feel like this was worth it....it isn't. Worst part is, I can't get out of it. At least that is what they said. The only way I can get out of it is if I get married. (sham wedding anyone? Just kidding!) My next attempt to get out will be through the Better Business Bureau.

Needless to say, if you consider yourself and extrovert, consider yourself warned. Do not, I repeat do not join Events and Adventures. Find some activities going on in your area (Yelp or http://Meetup.com or somewhere else) and go...meet people, have fun, and enjoy life!!! If you are less of an extrovert, you might need E&A to get out there...who knows.

Our First Trip

2010-06-16T12:21:00.000-07:00

So I was planning my drop off trip for my son. Every summer he goes to Texas to spend a couple months with his dad, and this year I am doing the drop off. I asked my guy, who just a few weekends ago called himself my boyfriend the first time, if he wanted to go with...We had talked about it before, and making a trip down to Austin together, however all of the other times I have asked him to come somewhere awesome with me he has said no... This time however....

HE SAID YES!! YAY!!!

So, I booked plane tickets and now we are just trying to arrange rental car stuff. My son is very excited that my guy is coming with us. Isaiah really likes my guy, which is awesome. He has a very good way with Isaiah that is not "I'm here to be your next dad" (which I would absolutely dissapprove of) and more "Hey buddy," and as a bonus he loves to be silly with Isaiah. This is a characteristic that Isaiah believes is required. He says, and I quote "People who aren't silly are boring. It makes you not want to be around them." hahaha! Right on Isaiah...you have no idea how correct you are.

Just a couple more days and a little bit more packing and we will be off to the longest amount of time spent together during our almost 6 month courtship...a good 84 hours at least. Am I nervous? Yeah, sure a little...but I am more excited than anything. Here is a guy who probably knows me better than some of my besties...someone I can really be myself around, and who has never laid judgement on me. Here is a guy I really admire and like and look forward to more days and months+ together. :-)

Butterflies...

2010-03-14T15:08:00.000-07:00

I totally forgot what they felt like. I can't tell you the last time I felt them...

I was fiddle-faddling on Facebook when I noticed in my feed that there were some new pictures that "He" was tagged in. It was from a wedding he was in back in January...I looked through the pictures, and somewhere in between the 5th and 6th picture I felt that tickly feeling in my stomach...(and no it wasn't gas!) I smiled, and looked at the picture closer.

Here is a man that I have come to really truly admire for so many reasons. His honestly is one of the reasons, along with his awareness of himself. His smile in real life and in pictures is so genuine, there is nothing like it. When he smiles at me, I know its real...

Here I am, really happy. I want to get to know him even better because every conversation we have is sooooo good. Sometimes, as tired as I am I want to stay up all night talking to him. I feel really lucky to have him in my life...he makes me feel good from my head to my toes in so many ways.

Here's to future adventures with my guy.

Lina - Still Naked and Sitting on her Towel

Love Goggles & Drunk Goggles

2010-02-23T12:36:00.000-08:00

Everyone puts these on at some point in their life. Love Goggles can affect us in so many ways, mostly negatively when we lose site of reality.

The fact is that the first couple months of a relationship, if there are many factors that keep us interested in a person, we tend to put on our Love Goggles, and ONLY see the good...not the bad. We ignore red flags that without the goggles we would normally see. Some might say the Love Goggles affects our ability to determine whether someone is physically attractive, but through my experience and the experience of my friends, it seems everyone at some point puts on these Love Goggles, and will intentionally ignore factors that should obviously lead to a relationship's demise. The outsider friend (me) asks the Love Goggle stricken friend (Nameless Guy Friend)

Me: "Dude! What's wrong with you? You don't realize that this chick treats you like shit, has a heightened sense of self-entitlement and is quite possibly crazy?"

Nameless Guy Friend: "No....she isn't that bad...She's really nice and totally into me. It doesn't matter that I delivered 2 dozen rozes to her work for her birthday and she didn't call me to let me know they arrived. AND it doesn't matter that she ignored me at her birthday party...She is gorgeous....and we have amazing chemistry and connection, plus, she gives great head."

Wow...this guy might normally not date someone who treats him like garbage, but this girl does and he for sure had his Love Goggles on, he is completely infatuated.

Luckily for "Nameless Guy Friend," he had friends like me and my other best girl friend who helped him see the light.

Love Goggles are different then the commonly misdiagnosed "Drunk Goggles." Drunk Goggles are the opposite of Love Goggles...

Imagine you have had 5 glasses too many to drink, and you see that pretty girl standing over by the bar grabbing a drink....wait...two. Man she is cool...she can handle her alcohol! She looks good...long hair, on her head and... wait.... Is that hair on her ears? NAW!! Can't be... She's got a great ass, and a nice set of watermelons that light up her face. Yeah...I'm going to talk to her...

By the end of the night you have grinded on her, bought her a few drinks as well as a couple for yourself, and while you are pretty tipsy, you are content with the fact that although you haven't had a real conversation (Drunk Speak does NOT count as conversation) you are quite certain, that this girl is S-E-X-Y! She can dance too! You get her number, and ask to take her out sometime. She says yes immediately, and by the time it's last call, you and her are grabbing a cab together and going back to her place. The rest of this imaginary story, I will let you fill in.

In the morning you wake up...hungover....ugh. Headache is pounding...and your stomach is turning with the bubbly guts. You look over at your prize from last night....Wait...that WAS hair coming out of her ears...and does she have a mustache? That curvy ass and great rack that you thought you saw last night...not so much. Now its obvious you made a huge mistake. She is clinging your arm with an ever hopeful smiley look on her face.

Ah yes...that was Drunk Goggles.

Beware of both Love Goggles and Drunk Goggles, as they can both do you harm. Remember when you get into a relationship that the first three months are the "getting to know you phase." Usually, after three months, the real persona surfaces. As long as you have kept yourself grounded, and kept the Love Goggles off, you will be able to identify whether the real persona is someone that you are actually interested in, or not. As for Drunk Goggles...well the example above speaks for itself...

BTW: Love Goggles and Drunk Goggles apply to both guys and girls...

Things that women think are really annoying that men do...

2010-02-21T14:09:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHUKURA!!!

So maybe I am overgeneralizing in the title...maybe some women DO like these annoying come on's. It should be noted that there were four of us ladies out last night, and all four of us were unanimous on the lessons mentioned below.

Shukura's birthday...wow! Of the four of us girls, she is not the oldest, but this year was big for her (as it was when I turned 29.) The last year of our 20's...and things seem to really change once you hit 30. I like to think it will change for the better, but you will just have to subscribe to my blog to see how things turn out.

Shukura wanted a night out with the girls...Katara came in from Phoenix, and Betty and myself arranged for sitters and we were determined to have a fun Saturday night in Seattle...girls only. We started with dinner, and then made our way down to Belltown after chatting in the hotel room for a bit. I love these talks, and at this point in my life, I find it hard to break away from these moments. These are the moments I cherish...4 girls together and we can talk about anything and everything: boys, kids, life, jobs, love, family, old times, funny memories. I have been friends with Shukura and Katara for about 15 years, so half of my life. In this time of growing we have consistently had these types of conversations, and these are what I love about my girlfriends and will never ever get from any other type of relationship.

On to the night out and the annoying things guys do... (I know that is what you are really interested in.)

So we ended up at this Bar/Lounge called Twist. It had a really cool atmosphere, decent drinks while over priced they were huge portions, so probably worth it. We grabbed ourselves a table for the four of us, with a view of the viaduct and a huge mirror covered pig. The crowd was a good mixture of people...most probably in our same age range. We started talking about how guys approach women when you get older... when we were younger I think we were less picky, and something simple sufficed to open the door for conversation. Maybe our standards were lower, I know mine were...lol. But here we are, the four of us: 32, 29, 29 and 28. How will guys approach us?

1st guy. He looks decent....dressed to impress without being too flashy or reminding me of a juiced up Jersey boy. Hair is well groomed and over all looks wise he gets a 6. Problem was, when he walked by, after giving me a double take his look turns into a psycho "I-might-rape-you-when-you-leave" type look... YIKES!! I immediately looked away and searched for a window to look at... ahh!! That's better...water, ok. Now I am at peace.

Lesson for guys reading: DON'T give girls this look...unless you are in fact planning on raping them...and then they know exactly WHO to stay away from.

2nd guy. First thing I notice is this guy is short. We might all wear high heals, but we were sitting, and he was still shorter than me. He seemed nice enough....but comes up to the table saying..."Is it someone's birthday?" He looked very eager...like he was going to pounce on whomever announced that it was their birthday. None of us answered, we all just kind of looked at the guy...Then, because I was the closest to him...he asked me "Are you celebrating your birthday?" I responded with "I usually celebrate everyone's birthday." Then he asked me when my birthday was...I couldn't help but laugh...not that it was super funny, but it reminded me of those "What's your sign?" come on's that I think I saw in a TV show in the early 90's. Was it Thirty Something? Is this what we are to look forward to? The guy got the hint, and left. I wasn't trying to be rude, its just I think his approach was incredibly weak. A few minutes later his friend came up to us and told us it was the guy's birthday and asked if he had mentioned that to us. I said no, and said "Had he opened with that, we might have been nicer..." He just seemed so probing in his approach.
Lesson for guys reading: Girls don't like to be probed.

At this point I saw a guy I met almost a year ago in a bar in Fremont, James. He was there with some of the same friends I met him with originally. Back when I met him, one of his friends had thrown a quarter towards their really drunk friend Courtney...this quarter missed and instead hit me in the head. I still have this quarter as a reminder of those crazy weird silly moments that happen and are completely laughable. It's good to remember those moments when you start taking life too seriously. It was nice to see James again, and learn that he wasn't as much of an ass hole than what I originally had pegged him to be.

3rd guy. This guy was a total creeper... He came up to me with his not so adorable accent. (Some accents are totally hot, some are needless to say...NOT!) He took my hand and caressed it...(EW!!) Then said "Let's dance." "Um....no." was my response...First of all, there was no dance floor. Second, the music is turned down in this place so that people can talk and enjoy themselves. Third, I don't know you and you look like a creeper so no I won't dance with you. Gross....I quickly went to the rest room to wash my hands.
Lesson for guys reading this: Don't grab a girls hand and rub it unless you are clearly invited to do so...and don't ask a girl to dance if there is no music.

4th guy plus friend. These guys were ballsy...and in all actuality they get honorable mention for being the "those funny guys" we met. One even had the courage to give us his name (I doubt he figured he would make it into my blog...lol.) Tyler Schrink. The name is funny in and of itself. He even referenced a "shrunken package" so that I might remember his name. The reason these guys made me laugh so hard was their approach was ballsy a little bit inappropriate but the delivery was good. "How can we penetrate this table?" Was the question Friend of Tyler asked...WOW! I was shocked, in a "Chelsey Handler-Just-Made-a-Good-Joke" sort of fashion. We know how it looks here, there are four of us girls, dolled up sitting at a table enjoying our conversations about anything and everything. It must be hard as a guy or guys to come up with something to break the invisible force field that surrounds us. This force field exists for a reason and makes it easy for us to turn down weak approaches because they lack creativity and character. When a guy makes me laugh my not-so-quiet burst of laughter, he at least disabled the force field for a short amount of time. Here is the conversation that followed...in drunk speak:

Tyler: "You should find me on Facebook and add me."
Me: "Why should I do that?"
Tyler's Friend: "Because he fist pumped the Duck Tour!!"
Me: "uh....ok?"
Tyler: "Because...Have you ever seen Jersey Shore?"
Me: "Yes."
Tyler: "You know how they do the fist pumping at the clubs?"
Me: "Yes."
Tyler's Friend: "So we were on a boat..."
Tyler: "And we saw the Duck Tour Boat and we were like 'HEY!!'[insert crazy fist pumping here] to their music...and the touring group of Asians on the Duck Tour Boat didn't know what to do, so they just started fist pumping back!!"
Me: "Ah...I see. So is this documented? Is it on Youtube and is that why I should add you on Facebook?"
Tyler: "No...It's not documented...but you should still add me."

They wanted to be "memorable" to us...so I told them to get together and I would take a picture of them for "memory sake" and that was that....

As you are looking at this picture the guy on the right with the ginormous eyebrows is Tyler, the very drunk looking fellow on him is friend of Tylers...

Lesson to guys reading: Laughter is good...Obviously there are MANY other factors that would make me be interested or not interested in someone, but Tyler at least didn't bomb like the others. That doesn't mean I am adding him on Facebook.

5th guy plus 2 D-bag friends: In the middle of a nice conversation this guy who looks like a Jersey Shore copy minus a bottle or two of hair gel approaches. He tells us we should meet his friend because he is a fashion designer from New York. Then decides to name us...instead of ASKING our names. Betty was named "Channel" I was named "Shaquita" and Shukura was given the name "Princess." As the only white girl at the table...I was a little weirded out by the name they had given me, and especially by the fact that they felt the need to name us...Um yeah. We have names, and if we want to use fake names, WE get to make them up and tell them to you so that you don't know our real names. THAT'S the way it works. So Mr. Fashion Designer who looked more like a "Fashion Mistake on Roids plus Scarf" I have to say you got an "F" in the game department. They were dismissed.
Lesson to guys reading: Don't make up some fake excuse for why we should pay attention to you. Who knows, this guy might have been telling me the truth...but if he was a fashion designer, he didn't look like one. Also, don't give us fake names...let us do that.

Shortly after that, the lights came on and we made our way to the exit. The night overall was really fun...and filled with what all of us needed: girl time, laughter, and memories that we will be able to talk about on future girls' nights.

I love you girls...

259 days of being single...and loving it.

2010-02-12T20:01:00.000-08:00

PREFACE: Before you read this blog, please don't get the idea that I am in any way a man hater....I am quite the opposite. I have many a wonderful guy friends who are great to their girls, love themselves and know how to communicate in an open, respectful and truthful manner. The guys I refer to in this blog are the douche-bag-self-absorbed-narcissistic-can't be honest with anyone-ass holes who make the good guys seem few and far between. I do believe in my heart of hearts that there are more good out there than bad, it's just that it seems to be easier to remember the bad guys. :-( If you are good guy and you are reading this...thanks for reading, and thank you for being you. ;-)

You know that heart sunken feeling you have when you have just been dumped? It's as if someone has reached into your heart and ripped it out...and then just left a big open space where your heart used to reside. It sucks...this feeling that aches in a way that doesn't even make sense. You feel a lump in your throat and spontaneously burst out into tears at the near mention of anything that has anything to do with the ex. He breaks up with you at the most inopportune time...and nowadays the break-up techniques are more douchey by the day. The text message, the Facebook status update, the tell all your friends but not the girl...Yes folks, if you didn't know, now you know. The idea of decency seems to be something that to some is uncool to some species of men (and some women, it is true.)

Usually there isn't any real justification for the break-up...they use the likely excuses "It's not you it's me..." or "I think we make better friends" or "I'm just not ready for what you want." My personal favorites (and I mean this in the most sarcastic of ways) is the guy who just never calls after 2 weeks of dating and then introducing you to his friends...yeah. That guy was REEEEALLY cool.

Where am I going with this you ask? Well that empty feeling that you have in your heart only lasts so long as you let it. It's great to morn the relationship's end, but there is a definite need to get on with life at a certain point. Cut all communication with this dirt-bag...and move on with life. Being single really isn't that bad. I know there are tons of self-help books out there that proclaim just this...I know because I have read them. I didn't think I would appreciate the advice, but now, looking back....259 days of being single has been AWESOME!! I spent some time loving me...getting back to taking care of myself and appreciating what is most important in my life. I spent some time dating...and not getting serious with anyone. I specifically wanted to date several different kinds of guys...because I felt like if I had a very specific "type" then I might be missing out on someone amazing. Another thing I really enjoyed doing was taking some time with my friends to really have some good friend time. A lot of times when we get into relationships we forget about the people who were there before the relationship began...the people who will be there to help pick us up when our hearts have been shattered by an emotional uzi.

I got to a point in December of 2009 when I realized how much I was LOVING being single...probably the first time ever that I really had this epiphany. I was happy, and having more fun than I had ever had in my life. It was at this point that I realized that I couldn't have gotten into a real relationship before this point. This falling in love with myself in a really healthy way was essential in the process of healing. It's not like it took me 6 months to get over the lame-o who broke up with me by text message, but it took me that long to get back into being me, loving me, and being able to see with clear eyes if a good one came along.

And what do you know...December 27th, a few days after Christmas a friend of mine asked me to take a chance on a date with him. On December 29th, we had our first date. I still count this time as being "single." I realize it's just a label, but I think it is important to hold on to that for just a bit longer....When we are ready for something more, I am sure we will know. At this point we are taking it day by day....date by date.

It's been a month and a half of no drama...laughs galore, some history lessons, and re-adjusting to the idea of letting my guard down. He's cool folks...and I like him.

So what's the point you ask? It's nearly impossible to be open to the new possibilities when you are still stuck in the past. Be happy, and good things will come...and probably not when you expect them.

Let's see what the future holds...I certainly hope whatever it holds...there is more of him. :-)

The Ex-Girlfriend

2009-08-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

I sat there in my favorite Tiki bar, Hula Hula, with an awkward sense of anticipation. I had never been in this situation before. I like her...and I don't want her to be mad at me due to the circumstances I had recently come into.

She was His ex....and not like a recent ex, more like over 7 months his ex. They dated for a few months, then broke up, then had a 3 week fling, and then stopped talking. He told her he had moved on and so should she...pretty blunt for a dude. She still had feelings for Him.

Over the last 7 months I have befriended both He and She...in separate situations, but at the same venue, our little karaoke spot called Hula Hula. They both run with the theatre crowds, and I enjoy living vicariously through them and the other friends I have made. She and I weren't great friends, more like acquaintances who chatted on Facebook now and then, and would politely chit chat at Hula's about random nonsense. I enjoyed her company...she was sweet and young. And she was his Ex-Girlfriend.

I sat there at Hula's after getting off from a long day. I knew I needed to talk to Her, but didn't know what I would say. I didn't need to get Her permission...I didn't need to tell Her the details, I just felt like it would be respectful to talk to Her about what she had seen on Facebook and would continue to see...pictures of Him and I together and happy. I didn't really know where He and I were going exactly, but I knew we liked each other, and I didn't want to seem like I was sneaking anything as there was no need....she was His ex after all.

I checked Facebook from my Blackberry one last time before she was supposed to get there. I noticed she had updated her status to "Not looking forward to it," only moments before. "Oh goodness..." I thought to myself. I knew she had to know the subject matter I had asked her down for, but didn't realize it would go the way it did. She walked across the street from her apartment (convenient to live across from our favorite hang out.) She was not happy, I could see it in her face and the way she walked.

We said hello politely and chit chatted about unparticulars...the weather and whatnot. I asked how her American Idol audition in Denver had gone...she said not good and broke down the goings on of the audition. "I am sure you know the reason I asked you here," I said. "Yeah...." she says... "I've seen the pictures."

I felt like the conversation went as well as it could have. I expressed that I liked her, and hoped that she would at some point be OK with he and I being together, and not make things awkward. I hoped that we could be adult about things, and mature enough to still kick it in our favorite spot. "Things will be awkward. There is no way it couldn't be," she says. She told me stories about the two of them, and how everyone used to refer to her as Mrs. *Insert-His-First-Name-Here.* She told me not to date him, and that she still had feelings for him, and gave me a short list of reasons I should not like him, and that if I wanted a "relationship" kind of guy, I should look towards his best friend. "Nah..." I said. "Not interested in best friend in that way, and honestly, while I appreciate everything you are telling me, I will make my own conclusions based on my experiences with him."

Shortly after this uncomfortable conversation, I was at Hula's alone on a dreadfully hot Monday evening. There was hardly anyone at Hula's, a few regulars, the bartender and the KJ (the Best Friend to Him.) I was singing my second song. Ex-Girlfriend and her best friend came in and plopped down right next to the KJ (THEY NEVER DO THAT!) They were perched for the evening, making it impossible to approach the KJ without going through them somehow. As I began to sing this song that I had only done a few times and was really not comfortable with...I heard gales of laughter coming from the right side of the stage by the KJ booth... it was Ex-Girlfriend and the best friend. Wow...never before had I even heard her laugh more than a short low chuckle and never before had I had this sort of disrespectful treatment at my Hula's. Embarrassed, lonely, hot, and uncomfortable I left Hula's without saying goodbye to the KJ.

The next day, while sharing this story with my friend, I tried to go into Ex-Girlfriend's Facebook account to show my friend what she looked like. When I typed in her name, she did not come up as one of my friends...when I went to her page the top read "Add as a friend." Wow, she had deleted me. Funny that the times have led us to this. We learn about our status in the world from Facebook...we learn the "status" of our friends from Twitter...Kind of sad. While I didn't mind her deleting me as a friend, I thought it strange that she kept the Ex-Boyfriend, who was the one she was actually mad at for never having given her a good reason for their relationship's demise. She hangs on with hope that one day he will return to her. She will still be able to see all the pictures of him and I, the videos I take of him singing with my voice in the background...so how does this help her?

I feel sorry for Her in so many ways. Every time I see her at Hula's I wish I could give her a hug, because I actually understand how she is feeling. She continues to give me her dirty looks though, and continues to be mad at me with no real justification other than jealousy pure and simple. She is young, and I am sure she will get over this one day, after all, time is the doctor and she, his patient.

The lesson I learned from this? Well....I don't regret talking to her about what was going on. I am sure at some point she would have deleted me whether I had talked to her or not. I had to do what was in my heart to do, and to clear the air that had become a bit muggy and distorted. I will continue to follow my heart in situations like this, and be as honest...and as "naked" as possible. I am, after all, forever naked and sitting on my towel,

WTF: Text Message Break-Up

2009-06-14T14:34:00.000-07:00

I honestly don't understand this phenomenon. It bothers me to an unending degree that someone would have cowardly behavior and such little respect for a person they profess to still "love." It happens though. I have talked to so many people about this ludicrous excuse for acceptable behavior...and it seems to be on a rampant incline in popularity among the Generation X and Yers. Every friend that I have talked to about this has said they knew at least 1 person who that had happened to.

It was a very exciting Saturday for me. I had a long day of work and was excited about a karaoke competition that I was getting ready for. My boyfriend sent me a "good luck" text message, in an effort to fulfill his necessary obligations as a boyfriend. I looked at it as something completely different. Here I was, prepping for a tough competition and looking forward to good words from the boyfriend. His message was a slap in the face. I had been feeling more and more that our relationship was moving away from being a very intimate relationship to a dry-and-barely-friendly-text message/email relationship. The least he could have done was to pick up the phone to call me and chat for a few minutes before I headed off to my competition. When I asked him if I was going to get a phone call, he asked that I could not hold him to task because he was under so many pressures. A few text messages later came the biggie...the message of all messages. He wrote "I love you, but it's too much."

Personally, I feel if you are going to use the word Love, it should not be followed by the word "but." There is no love in this....there is no love in sending this message through a digital medium. I was hurt and scarred, but moreover I was disgusted by the lack of courage and compassion.

The lesson I have learned from all of this? (There is always a lesson to be learned, and there is no victory as big as the lesson.) Relationships are increasingly digital and less organic. We are moving away from communicating in person, through touch, and telling stories with our eyes. I love little sweet messages throughout the day, this can absolutely be a positive, but when a relationship moves more and more into a digital form, then I must take the advice of both the book and the movie and say to myself he's just not that into me.

BTW: My favorite quote from the movie "He's Just Not That Into Me": “I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my Blackberry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”

So true...so f'ing true. On to bigger better and more organic things and relationships. I look forward to whatever the future holds, I know there is love out there for me. I have the worlds best friends who lift me up in situations like this. Oh, yeah and that karaoke competition I was in...I still competed and made 2nd place. My life is too short to let some d'bag bring me down into his dark and dreary excuse for a life.